Chapter seven of In Search of the Real Spirit of Christmas
It was exactly twelve days before Christmas and we were finishing our
secret last minute preparations. Stuffing the special Christmas stocking
with the secret message and ornament, we were ready to go. I loaded the
kids into the van as they vainly struggled to suppress excited giggles. As
we neared the home we were targeting, I stopped, turned off the lights from
our van, and gave our three young children their final instructions in
whispered conspiratorial tones.
“OK, Christi is the oldest, so she gets to put the stocking on the
door tonight.” Andrew moaned. “Tomorrow night it will be Andrew’s turn.”
Andrew grinned. “And the next night Katie’s. You can all go with Christi.
But—and this is very important--you have to be quiet, and very sneaky.”
There are very few children in this world who don’t get excited when
they hear their parents tell them something like this. General Christi
turned to her excited troops before the mission and whispered some
encouragement to her younger sister, Katie.
“Katie, don’t talk!”
“I won’t talk!” Katie replied.
“You ALWAYS talk!” Christi retorted.
“Yeah, Katie, so be quiet,” warned Andrew.
Katie nodded solemnly, biding her time until she would be the general.
Stealthily they all jumped from our van into the darkness. I can still
see them crouching and sneaking along. Then, Christi hung the stocking,
rang the doorbell and they all raced back. They leaped into our van and we
were off before the front door was opened. Back inside the van the kids
were laughing and telling about their exciting adventure. Only eleven more
nights to go. Each night the routine was the same, dash in, leave the gift
in the stocking hung on the door, and dash away. On Christmas morning we
would return with a dozen doughnuts and sing “We wish you a Merry
Christmas,” revealing ourselves as their Secret Santa’s.
We were reenacting a wonderful Christmas tradition in our family.
Years earlier we had been the recipients of this activity called TheTwelve
Days of Christmas from a wonderful family in our church. One night the
doorbell rings and you discover no one there, but a stocking has been left
with a message telling you in poetic form that each night you will receive
another special gift from your “secret Christmas friend,” each
corresponding to the Twelve Days of Christmas. It is one of our children’s
fondest Christmas memories. Every year since we have done the Twelve Days
of Christmas to a different family. It is a simple act of kindness, as fun
for us as those we target.
TIS THE SEASON TO FEEL GOOD
It is only one of many Christmas giving activities we have been
involved with over the years. We have helped provide a tree and presents
for needy families in our community, bought presents for the children of
prisoners, paid for a well for a small village in Asia with proceeds of a
garage sale, made up shoe boxes filled with Christmas goodies for children
all over the world, and many other Christmas opportunities. And we loved
every minute of it.
It made Annette and I feel good. It made the kids feel good. It made
the people we were targeting with our Christmas project feel good. I’m
sure you’ve felt very similar feelings, as you’ve been involved in some act
of charity or kindness during the Christmas season. Surely this is the
true spirit of Christmas...or is it?
At Christmas, more opportunities to do good are made available to us
than at any other time of the year. So each year charities vie for ways to
help you become a true Christmas giver. The charities know the generous
feelings don’t always last much beyond Christmas Day, so they hit us early
and often. For eleven months out of the year we may be fairly apathetic to
needy peoples sad plight, but at Christmas we go out of our way to be
generous. Have you ever wondered why?
I believe that one of the reasons is because our modern culture has
drilled into us the message that the true spirit of Christmas is in giving
to others. It is not only commercially successful, but seems to work on an
emotional level as well. It is personified in the spirit of Ebenezer
Scrooge who awakened to his miserly nature just in the nick of time in
Charles Dickens famous story, A Christmas Carol.
Although A Christmas Carol is one of my favorite Christmas stories (I
always get goose bumps when Ebenezer Scrooge sends the turkey and gifts to
the Cratchett home), the underlying theme is that the true spirit of
Christmas is found in kindness and generosity. Ebenezer Scrooge is
transformed when he ends his miserly ways and embraces the true spirit of
Christmas by becoming generous, and thus a better person.
Has the real Christmas story, the entrance of God into our world,
prompted this spirit of giving? In many cases yes. But in some cases, no.
Giving is certainly a wonderful way to respond to Christ’s love at
Christmas, but is it the true spirit of Christmas? It is interesting to
consider that Dickens tale of the crusty old Ebenezer Scrooge has probably
done more to form our notions of what the Christmas spirit is than the
account in Luke.
Christmas is the chance for many to rescue their self-esteem—to prove
the goodness of their character to themselves, as well as others. Our
gifts of time and money at Christmas to help those less fortunate than
ourselves help to convince us that we really are good and wonderful people.
After all, just look at how generous we are being.
A CHRISTMAS CAROL VS. THE CHRISTMAS STORY
I want to hasten to add here that these acts of kindness are truly
wonderful and I don’t wish to undermine them in any way. But did you ever
wonder why the sad plight of others receives such special attention from us
during Christmas, and such scant attention the rest of the year? Why don’t
we feel the same about helping others and demonstrating kindness January
through November? Is the real Christmas spirit about giving? Is that the
message of the incarnation?
James reminds us that “Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change
like shifting shadows” (James 1:17 NIV). John 3:16, we have already seen,
reminds us that the incarnation was about God’s giving, “For God so loved
the world that He gave His one and only Son...” (John 3:16 NIV). See,
Christmas must be about giving. Yes, but who is doing the giving, and who
is doing the receiving? The Biblical account of Jesus entrance into our
world stresses that we are the incredible recipients of a divine gift of
which we are totally and completely unworthy. The giver in the story is
God, not us. We are the receivers who did nothing to deserve this
tremendous gift. It is easily a more powerful story than that of Ebenezer
Scrooge, but alas, not as flattering.
It doesn’t make us feel better about ourselves in the same way that
helping others at Christmas does. Dickens tale simply makes us feel better
about ourselves. We are encouraged by the message that we, too, can become
better people through generosity and giving. A Christmas Carol reminds us
that even the worst among us, of which Ebenezer Scrooge was the model, can
be made better.
In an article entitled, “The God We Hardly Knew,” William Willimon
suggests that Dickens wonderful story is “more congenial to our favorite
images of ourselves,” than is the story of the incarnation. But he goes on
to suggest that we are better givers than getters not because we are
generous people, but “because we are proud, arrogant people.”
He continues, “The Christmas story—the one according to Luke, not
Dickens—is not about how blessed it is to be givers but about how essential
it is to see ourselves as receivers...It tells us of an unimaginable gift
from a stranger, a God whom we hardly even knew. This strange story tells
us how to be receivers. The first word of the church, a people born out of
so odd a nativity, is that we are receivers before we are givers...It’s
tough to be on the receiving end of love, God’s or anybody else’s. It
requires that we see our lives not as our possessions, but as gifts.
‘Nothing is more repugnant to capable, reasonable people than grace,’ wrote
John Wesley a long time ago...This is often the way God loves us: with
gifts we thought we didn’t need, which transform us into people we don’t
necessarily want to be.”1
I still feel that Christmas is an appropriate time to express the love
of Christ through special giving and acts of compassion. It is not the act
which we must scrutinize, but the motivation and the goal behind it. Is it
our own self-esteem we want to cultivate this time of year, or gratitude
for the grace we have been shown?
CELEBRATING A GIFT
Each year I celebrate with my precious wife, Annette, the anniversary
of our marriage over twenty years ago. I always give her some special
gift. Sometimes it is a quiet dinner at a nice restaurant, sometimes it is
something I have written for her, while sometimes it is going away for a
special vacation at a favorite place. I never fail to spend money or
sacrifice in some tangible way to express my deep joy in being married to
her.
But, I do not celebrate how good a catch I was, or how lucky Annette
is to have married me. I do not recount all the wonderful things I have
done for her over the years. There would be little joy in that for either
of us. What I celebrate is a gift, pure and simple, one I received from
the loving heart of my God and heavenly Father. I remind myself that of
all the men this amazing woman could have been given to; He gave her to me.
I am merely a humble and grateful receiver.
And of all the men my wife could have chosen to be her husband, and
there were others around far more attractive in every way than myself, she
chose me. And again, I am humble and grateful. I am a receiver. There is
no pride in my celebration, only lasting and sincere gratitude and joy.
So on my anniversary I celebrate a gift, not a personal
accomplishment. This is the way we are to celebrate Christmas, as
receivers. It is the Christmas contradiction. On the day famous for
giving to others, we are to celebrate being helpless but terribly grateful
receivers. And nothing is more ultimately fulfilling than being able to
express true gratitude in a tangible way. Gratitude born of a love so deep
that it must be expressed.
CELEBRATING RECEIVING
As we remember the Christmas story, was Bethlehem chosen to be the
birthplace of our Lord because it was such a large, successful, and
significant city? We are told just the opposite. “But you, Bethlehem
Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will
come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of
old, from ancient times” (Micah 5:2 NIV). Bethlehem was honored in spite
of its insignificant size and importance. Were the shepherds chosen to
receive the angelic announcement because they were better and more
spiritual than others were? We’ve already learned that just the opposite
was the case.
What of Mary and Joseph? Were they chosen to be the human parents of
Jesus because of their great achievements and spirituality? As we’ve seen,
Mary, though certainly a godly young woman, had not had time to achieve
great things in life, and Joseph was a simple, though godly, carpenter.
They did not earn the right to become the parents of Christ by virtue of
their character or accomplishments; they too were receivers. Mary exalts
not in what she has done, but that “the Mighty One has done great things
for me” (Luke 1:49 NIV). The obvious spirit of that first Christmas was an
unmistakable feeling of being blessed, of having received mercy and grace
from God.
It is tempting to focus on my kindness, thoughtfulness, and goodness
as I scurry about trying hard to make everyone’s Christmas special.
Perhaps at times this is why the true spirit of Christmas remains elusive
at times. Gratitude seeks to respond to the one who has given to you. But
when you begin to focus on your own giving, you seek a reaction from the
one you have given to. This does not always breed contentment, since not
everyone will be as grateful as we might hope. Nor will our gifts always
be completely appreciated.
Can you celebrate receiving from God His indescribable gift and still
do acts of kindness and charity at Christmas? Certainly! It would be
strange if we didn’t. But what motivates our acts of kindness will make
all the difference. Ironically, the act of kindness or gift giving itself
will look identical to onlookers regardless of our motivations. Only we
will know the difference.
In our attempt to find the true spirit of Christmas we need to be able
to identify its counterfeit. A variety of things can make us feel good
during the holidays—and not all of them derived from the announcement given
to the shepherds.
The cultural message that the real spirit of Christmas is giving is
only partly correct. The true message of Christmas humbles us. We are
shown to be merely receivers; poor, blind, deaf, and dumb receivers.
So, this season, when you are preparing your gift giving, and your
charitable Christmas projects, focus not on what you are able to give,
whether great or small, but on what you have received. Let the grace and
mercy you have experienced at His hands first fill your heart, and then
flow through you to others. In so doing, you are inviting others to join
in your grateful celebration. Allow yourself to experience the wonder and
joy of gratitude in this holy season. Feel what Mary, Joseph, the
Shepherds, the Magi, Simeon and Anna must have felt.
We are both receivers and givers at Christmas, let’s just remember
which comes first.
REFLECTION AND CELEBRATION
In Frank Capra’s beloved holiday classic, It’s A Wonderful Life,
George Bailey is given the opportunity to experience what life would have
been like if he had never been born. Revisiting his past, and his past
family members and acquaintances, he is shocked to learn how he made a
difference in so many people’s lives. It is a shocking revelation to him,
reminding him that even though his own life didn’t seem worth living
anymore, his life had been very blessed.
If you’ve never seen the movie, buy it or rent it, and enjoy this
wonderful touching classic. If you’ve seen it before, take it out, dust it
off, and watch it one more time. Only this time, when the movie is over,
take a few moments and try to imagine how many ways your life would be
different if Jesus had never been born. It is a good exercise to remind us
of how much we have received because a Savior was born to us.
And the next Christmas compassion project you are involved
with—remember—that you can give because you first received. Your gift of
time or treasure is merely an extension of His gift of love and grace to
you. Christmas is first about receiving God’s great love, and then about
giving.
1 William Willimon, Copyright 1988, “The God We Hardly Knew.” December 21-
28, 1988 issue of Christian Century, The Christian Century Foundation.
